| breathe. |

whew, I’m tired.

tired in an empty sort of way, though, and not as tired as I’ve been. it’s hard to explain, really. I don’t feel hopeless, anymore. well, not most days. I’m just tired of watching what I eat, of working out often enough, hard enough, of writing futilely just to get one scrap of scribbled-on paper I’m happy with. of trying to memorize, recall, and analyze. and I’m painfully tired of not sleeping well.

jeez, could this read more like a complainer’s to-do list? complain about work, check. complain about lack of work, check. complain about sleeping, check. complain about waking up, check. oh, to top it off, while I’m here in complainer’s hell, I’ve been having a hard time finding new musicians I like. help?

p.s. the things I’m grateful for? 1. my dad bought me a book (out of the blue) that I’ve been lusting after for weeks and been too cheap to buy, 2. my army job security no longer hinges on my performance on the dlab, 3. my future soldier friends are pretty hilarious sometimes, 4. my hair turns out alright most days, 5. I’m writing more often, and some of it’s not too bad, 6. my tax refund came back. let’s just say that sucker put a huge smile on my face.., 7. running’s been getting better. shockingly., 8. and I’m alive, praise Jesus. (thought you’d like that cheesy ending.)

*shrug* guess things aren’t so bad, now that I think about it.